- Some boys who bully come from homes where they are bullied or abused by their parents or older siblings. They are simply doing to others what is being done to them. Bullying is a way for these boys to regain some of the control they have lost at home.
- Many boys who bully are insecure and want to feel powerful. Threatening or intimidating other kids is an attempt to cover up their insecurity. Boys who bully need to control others. This makes them feel powerful. To achieve this feeling, bullies often target boys who are quiet, easily pushed around, or have very few friends.
- Boys who bully also crave attention. They seek to gain this attention from their peers. These boys think that by being cruel or abusive to others, they will become popular.
One thing that boys who bully all have in common are personal issues. Quite often, boys bully because of personal troubles at home or at school, which cause them to act out against other boys. Underneath this tough exterior, the bully is likely to be angry or depressed. Are you a bully? Be honest with yourself. Do you want to change? Hopefully, your answer is yes. Admitting that you are a bully and wanting to change are the first steps to take.
Talking to someone about what you’re dealing with is the next step. Where is the anger coming from? What is the root of the pain that you feel? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing to be afraid of. People will respect you for taking responsibility for your actions. People will respect you for wanting to change. Talk to an adult you trust. That person can be a family member, teacher, coach, minister or counselor.
If you want to get help, but are not comfortable speaking with someone face to face, a telephone helpline is a great resource. On a telephone helpline, you can remain anonymous (which means that the person you speak with will not know who you are). We recommend two helplines. First, there’s the Boys Town National Hotline. You can reach them at: 1-800-448-3000. There’s also 2NDFLOOR, a helpline for New Jersey’s youth and young adults. You can reach them at: (888) 222-2228. If you need to talk about an issue or problem that you are dealing with, help is only a phone call away. Please reach out to someone.
Be Unlimited is taking a major stand against bullying. We hope you are ready to stand with us.